Zombies and You

   Maybe it's just me, but everything seems more entertaining with zombies. In all honesty I had no intention of reading Pride and Prejudice, until Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies came out. Zombie jokes can cheer up almost any ones day, unless they are scared of zombies that is. Although zombies are hilarious sometimes you can't help but wonder, would I survive a zombie apocalypse. Sometimes I also wonder, "Can I fit in that dryer", but that's for another day. Today I will be giving you some zombie survival tips, and a brief zombie edicut lesson.
   Before using the wonderful world of zombies for whatever you're using them for there are a couple guidelines you should consider. Firstly, try to refrain from zombie usage, and reference around the young, elderly, and queasy. Secondly, like any joke, even zombie jokes can get old, try not to overuse them. Lastly, when faced with an intelligent zombie try using the term undead, I'm sure they will appreciate the sensitivity.
    The first step to any good zombie avoidance plan is to first realise there is a danger. In the movie Shaun of the Dead the main character has this to say upon seeing his first zombie, "Oh my god..... She's soo drunk". Not quite there Shaun. Zombies can be identified for their grayish, occasionally peeling skin, moaning sounds, and lack of coordination. Some zombies are unrecognisable, and are disguised as humans. According to my heart rate test in gym I'm one of them. For some reason the machine either refused to register my heartbeat or told me my pulse was 225 (it should be 170 during a workout). I knew having two hearts (it's a timelord thing) would mess up the reading.
    Now that you have recognized the problem it is time to asses the severity of the situation. If the number of zombies are not too high, simply move out into the country until the problem dies down. If you are being swarmed by zombies, which implies you took a while at step one, you are going to need to set up a fort. Country side homes are preferable, but if you insist on staying in a city, try to find a group of people. Once you find a group of survivors clear out a mall from all zombie inhabitants. In a mall you would have food, weapons, tons of room, and assuming the electricity is still working a surveillance system.
     You have a place to stay, the defenses are up, food has been acquired, so what now? Get into a routine. Either get used to the zombies, or figure out how to wipe them out for good. Send groups of people out to scout surrounding areas. You have two options at this point. You can stay safe and wait for the military or you can take matters into your own hands. It could be because I'm a wimp, but personally I would play it safe and wait for the military.
     At last you can enjoy zombie jokes without worrying about whether you would survive or not. I am just joking around and do not believe in zombies by any means, but if you by chance do and are terrified try reading, The Zombie Survival Guide By: Max Brooks he writes his book like it could actually happen. If you are scared and just need something to get your mind of zombies then do me a favour and tell me, can you fit in that dryer?

Business

On my post To Eat or Not to Eat a certain gingery friend of mine left a comment. When I said you should still eat if you are sick I specified with a curable disease, seeing as eating will make you better in the long run. I know for a fact that what ails you will not get much better or worse by eating, and so I will not get on your case for any eating habits you may have. I am still seven blogs behind.

Doctor Who Quote

Jack: Oh, and can you switch off your cellphone? No, seriously. It interferes with my instruments.Rose: You know, no one ever believes that.
Jack: Thank you. Much better.Rose: Oh yeah, that's real load off, that is. I'm hanging in the sky in the middle of a German air raid with a Union Jack across my chest, but hey! My mobile phone's off!